the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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