what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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