? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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