then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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