don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
