Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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