The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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