My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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