okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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