i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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