tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
