omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
