So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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