if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize