your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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