Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
