Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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