ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
