My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.