you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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