I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize