So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
