omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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