CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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