Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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