ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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