I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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