90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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