Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
