Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
