i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
