super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
