I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
