I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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