If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
