I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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