So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
