He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
