mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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