i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
