how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize