Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
