Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that