Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.

(256): View more from Alabama

Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.

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(256): You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass. (1-256): That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years. (256): Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that. (1-256): Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham. http://tfl.nu/egwd

Replies (54) Good night (5067) Bad night (811)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.

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(802): Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser. http://tfl.nu/l90y

Replies (17) Good night (5360) Bad night (1011)
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(845): View more from New York

i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.

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(845): i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning. http://tfl.nu/8v63

Replies (19) Good night (1013) Bad night (6000)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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(412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j

Replies (9) Good night (5139) Bad night (1408)
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(512): View more from Texas

Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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(512): Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky. http://tfl.nu/on0b

Replies (17) Good night (5690) Bad night (1524)
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(904): View more from Florida

My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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(904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep

Replies (8) Good night (2865) Bad night (1446)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.

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(215): We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay. http://tfl.nu/xg35

Replies (14) Good night (3132) Bad night (1632)
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(561): View more from Florida

Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.

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(561): Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN. http://tfl.nu/5n63

Replies (12) Good night (2604) Bad night (1131)
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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8

Replies (5) Good night (1893) Bad night (567)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.

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(+44): Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked. http://tfl.nu/926l

Replies (11) Good night (1121) Bad night (1995)
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(279): View more from

Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?

(574): View more from Indiana

You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you

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(279): Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones? (574): You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you http://tfl.nu/23r0

Replies (14) Good night (4536) Bad night (1133)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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(843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5

Replies (16) Good night (2825) Bad night (833)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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(860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1

Replies (7) Good night (889) Bad night (369)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.

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(+61): Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride. http://tfl.nu/wxrx

Replies (6) Good night (1595) Bad night (525)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

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(864): That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it. http://tfl.nu/a8sj

Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (397)

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