At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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