I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize