You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
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What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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