Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
