i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt