I wannas sexs uuuuu
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
