I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"