I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.