i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA