Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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