I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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