So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize