Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize