under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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