remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
