if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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