Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
