oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
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yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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