a queef is a wish your heart makes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize