I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
