Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
