Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I touched a dick in church today