you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills