I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.