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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

   Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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• (510): View more from California

  my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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• (559): View more from California

  Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  can you please not set my house on fire for once???

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I touched a dick in church today

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