ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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