If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
