I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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