Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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